Friday, March 19, 2010

So Pathetic

From my forum post -

Thanks for leading the rides again Rick. I hope your knee get better they need you.

I did the ride but I could not even keep up with the newest rides.

I lost sight of everyone within the first mile so the only pictures I got were from the start and when they passed me going the other way.

The Turtle tracks are HERE

My pictures are HERE

I was so nice to see so many friends from last year on the ride last night. I might be the last time I see them for a long while. I am so pathetic. We were less than one mile into the ride and I had completely lost sight of everyone. I Rick and the two other slow group rider had not stopped to wait I would not have seen anyone until the passed me going the other direction. I did not have any trouble doing the ride, the distance was less than the shortest ride I have done post BionX and the few short hills were not a problem either unless one considers that climbing them a 3 to 5 mph is a problem - I DO! I rode 12.40 miles at an average of 9.6 mph and it was a full output effort for me I could not have done it any fast or gone any harder that is what makes it so hard for me to accept. I deluded myself to thinking I was a real cyclist while using the BionX and now the truth is hard to accept. It would have most likely been better for me to have never gotten it. I would not have been able to ride with theses folk and would never had even tried so I would not have gotten to know them. Now wanting to ride with them and not even being able to for one mile it really hard to accept. I am not doing badly - I have lost almost 75 pounds. I can walk and do walk about 2.5 miles a day and I can ride my trike three to five hours without any problem. I have lots of power and lots of stamina. I am sorta like a MAC truck who wants to be a sports car. I may be the fasted 335 pound cyclist around but then are there any other 335 pound cyclist. Why can I never want to do things I could be good at. It just seems the losing 75 pounds and taking 28 pounds off the trike by removing the Bionx I should be able to go fast. But 9.6 is not fast weekend riders can just ride away from me without even training. I do not plan to ride the Thursday night ride again - I just cannot stand to have people having to wait for my SLOW ass. I will just ride Greenfield Tuesdays and Thursdays it not so bad and I can do longer rides there and no one has to wait for me. I will miss my friends there. I will try rding SBV this Saturday but it will mostlying be worse than Thursdays because even the slow group usually does 15 average - that means by the end of the ride I would be an hour or more behind them - I just cannot have people wait for me like that. I am not sure I can put myself through that.


Rierson Photography said...

A good friend of mine once described to me how he felt about cycling. We discovered that we both are addicted to the sport and just don't feel right if we take a few days off. We're so obsessed with cycling that we do our own maintenance and closely follow pro racing, even though we'll never be at that level of fitness. That's a "real cyclist" for ya. I'm proud to share the road with you Ashby- DON'T GIVE UP on riding with us!

Pugsly said...

I think if you need to have that battery pack to have an enjoyable group ride then you should use it.

Where you got into trouble was you talked so much about you not really using the battery during rides, you ended up believing it yourself.

If you want to do group rides and it takes a battery pack for you to keep up, why not just continue using it?